bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
