went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
