thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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