Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
