Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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