OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
