So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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