im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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