Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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