just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
did i just pee glitter
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
