absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
