He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
