I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
