I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I understand Curling. That high.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
