He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
