He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
vagina is talking i cant
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
