At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
