Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
