im having a threesome with these popsicles
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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