So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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