I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
