we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
