One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
