the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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