Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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