Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
