i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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