the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
