my sisters under your porch take her home
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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