we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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