How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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