You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
