I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
