I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
