DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
