shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
