Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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