While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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