Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
vagina is talking i cant
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
