I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
