Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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