he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize