Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
