I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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