Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize