Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
