I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
