today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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