This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
