She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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