honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
