He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
