So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
