So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
