there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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