"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
