We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
