Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I need to stop coming to work sober
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
