got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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