I wanna bring you to show and tell
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
