don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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