i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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