Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
