I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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