he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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