I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
