Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
