Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
