Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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